The real evil of materialism is not the pursuit of things. It is rather seeing and treating other people as things- and therefore putting things ahead of people. Youngsters with a habit of thinking and acting this way are headed towards trouble later in life: substance abuse, professional problem, marriage break-up, a life dominated by impulse and unrestrained egoism. So what can parents do with their young children now to build stronger character and lead children away from materialism?
1. Be confident of your rightful authority as a parent and insist that your children respect it. Your responsibility as a parent is enormous and you must exercise a self confident loving authority to carry it out. Your children’s confidence in your leadership will derive from your own self confident sense of mission.
2. Remember that you are raising adults , not children. When you think of your children’s future, picture character as well as career. Your job is not to keep children amused and busy. It is, rather, to lead your children to become competent, responsible, considerate and generous men and women who are committed to live by principles integrity. Think of what your children will be, not just what they will do.
3. Teach the great character strength (virtues): prudence, justice, fortitude, temperance, and charity. In today’s terms, these are called sound judgment and conscience, a sense of responsibility, courageous perseverance, self- mastery, and strengths in three ways; by your personal example, your direction of your children’s behavior, and your verbal explanations of right and wrong. But you teach mostly by example. Remember that conscience is the memory of your parent’s voices, their loving lessons of right and wrong taught to us in our youth.
4. Teach your children the four great pillars of civilized dealings with others: “please”, “thank you”, I’m sorry”, and “I give my word”. Using these habitually in speeches is a basis for respecting the right of others.
5. Teach your children the meaning of the word”integrity”. “Integrity means unity of intention, word, and action- that is, we mean what we say. We say what we mean, and we keep our word. We always tell the truth and we keep our promises.
6. Make your children wait for something they want, and if possible, make them earn it. Waiting and learning are part of responsible adult life, which is what we are after. Let the children learn the difference between wants and needs. Let them see that “everybody else has one” and “everybody else is doing it” are, at best, lame reasons for any course of action. Sound judgment and conscience are guides for life and these should never give way to thoughtless conformity.
7. Realize that a “no “also a loving word. And your children must hear it from time to time in order to acquire self control. Children who never experience loving parental denial cannot form the concept of self-denial and this can later lead to disaster.
8. Raise your children to be producers, not consumers. Let them put their power against problems to solve them and thus grow into healthy self-confidence. Lead them to take school-work and home chores seriously so they will learn the meaning of responsible service. We humans are born to serve, not to shop. Children do not grow up when they can take care of themselves; they really grow up when they can take care of others-and want to.
9. Practice “affectionate assertiveness” in disciplining your children. Correct the fault not the person; hate the sin, love the sinner. Show your children you love them too much to let them grow up with their faults uncorrected.
